Welcome May, Part 3

I’m back with Part 3 of this “Welcome May” exploration.

In case you missed the last 2 posts, I’ll give a quick recap. Two weeks ago I shared that the first half of this month was intense for me with several days in a row of anniversaries for my Mom and her absence here in the body. And how I also felt a spring in my step, as is often the case for me in May. “Both and” moment for sure, so I decided to approach it with a “welcome” intention rather than tension or expectations on how it would go. And then I added in a welcoming of whatever occurred and all the unexpected happenings as well.

Last week I shared some ideas on being prepared … literally with physical resources and through habits and daily rituals that support your well being, and also in the deeper nervous system and psychological healing practices.

This idea of preparation feels even more important to me now, because literally in the days after I sent my first email with an invitation to be with unexpected occurences this month, I received scary news that my soon to be 51 year old cousin had been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma in his lung. Oompf. That hits deep, you know?

What I noticed in myself is that there were human emotions of course, and a complete lack of emotional reactivity. We can talk more about that difference another time if you like. For now, that looked like me having emotions as a human being who cares about her family member, and also complete presence to hold space for him in those initial days. There was no urgency in my system, no rushing into being “helpful”, and not making it about me at all.

Does that sound familiar to any of my social justice activists? All that work that I/we did on urgency, not being a savior or centering ourselves … it applies here. Preparation.

When the nervous system has had practice for any kind of moment that kicks up our survival responses it can RESPOND instead of react because it has prepared. That allowed me to hold space, be present, and actually offer some really healing energy from my spiritual practice to my cousin (with his permission).

If I feel any urgency about anything right now, it’s that people dig in and do what is the most resonant to them to heal and be prepared for life’s moments because they do turn on a dime … in any direction (I mean what if Oprah called tomorrow and wanted to meet you for lunch in Maui? It’s not only the painful stuff, even tho we sure have a lot of it these days). This kind of urgency comes from caring so much about the work I am here to do in the world and why it’s important for our individual and collective growth as humans. And still I must pause, because urgency does not usually invite impact … we need to be slow enough to engage and be effective even so.

THEN, a week ago Monday I tested positive for Covid, the faintest of faint pink postive line. Ugh! Not what I expected moment #2. I had a momentary surge of emotion, and a bit of reactivity, because it was the exact same Monday that Covid popped in one year ago. The same week that my Mom was dying and I had Covid and was driving all up and down the state. (I know, I can’t believe it either! I mean what are the chances? If that’s not a good Mercury Retrograde review and reflect I don’t know what is.)

So, once again … preparation.

I was able to catch and notice the emotional reactivity almost immediately and unhook that to make decisions and tend to my emotions. I headed home from my trip a day early, called my healing team and got resources that weren’t already waiting for me at home on the way. And then I got to work with the resources I did already have at home … supplements and essential oils … and engaged the protocols which I also had on hand already. Literal, practical preparation. And I could rest, sleep, and remain curious about this wild timing!

(I’m also happy to say that by the next day, and again at 48 hours and 5 days, I was testing negative and symptoms were very mild … the faintest of faint infections and just enough to put a surge of unexpected discomfort into my life.)

So, what I really want to say to you is … keep going.

Keep healing, keep preparing your nervous system and your emotions through your own growth journey. Get support where and when you need it. I am here of course, and there are so many ways. There is so much more opportunity for joy (and that spring in the step) to also be available in these kinds of moments when you keep showing up for yourself and your growth, healing, and well being on the regular.

Even when you feel amazing, ESPECIALLY when you feel amazing, keep going bit by bit in a forward movement to invite yourself to grow and heal one step at a time.